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About Our Meetings | Upcoming Events | Upcoming Meetings | Directions |
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Meetings &
Upcoming Events We
meet one Sunday a month from 2 PM to 5 PM alternating between our What can you expect when you
attend a PFLAG Meeting?
PFLAG is all about Support, Education, and Advocacy. For people attending their first meeting, it
is all about Support. You will meet parents or family members
of loved ones who have recently "come out" to them as well as
others who have been members for many years and have gone through much of
what you are just beginning to experience.
For some parents, this news is very
difficult to deal with. Most of us
have never had anyone tell us they have a gay child and many just do not know
what to do with this information. While
some people find this news quite distressing; they may be angry or hurt, others
are readily accepting, but all have questions. There is a lot to learn and PFLAG is the
place to ask questions in a safe environment.
All that takes place during our meetings is treated as
confidential. PFLAG
is where we share our experiences in small groups and support each other as
we go through the process of learning, accepting and celebrating our
families. We represent many social,
political, and religious backgrounds but are neither a religious nor a political
group. We
meet to engage in discussion in informal, confidential rap groups led by
trained facilitators where we support and encourage one another as we seek to
keep families in loving relationships after learning that a family member is
gay. Our
meetings are not group therapy, seminars, or workshops. No one is called upon or expected to speak
until they are comfortable doing so.
We know that listening is often all a new participant can do and when
they are ready to talk, they are given all the time and attention they
need. We do not probe or question ones
feelings as we know that all feelings are valid. People share as much or as little as they
are comfortable with, often opening up as time goes on. PFLAG is the place to come where you
know you will receive a positive reaction when you say “My son is gay” or “My
daughter is a lesbian”, or “I am gay”.
For many, PFLAG is the place where those words are first uttered in
public and here they are greeted with a smile. Newcomers are often greeted with such
warmth and support that they are able to articulate for the first time all
the disturbing thoughts and fears they have been harboring since their loved
ones came out to them. They benefit
from the experience of members who are further along in the process of
learning, understanding, and accepting as they learn facts they belie
stereotypes and the negativity put forth by the mean-spirited seeking to
marginalize our children. They receive
reassurance (that our children are happy and healthy living wonderful lives
with their life partners), information, and guidance as to how to deal with
others who may be less enlightened.
Newcomers hear the ease with which members say “I have a gay child”
and then learn that not too long ago they, too, were newcomers with the same
emotions and fears that have been overcome. We meet to discuss the political
and social environment that affects our LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, and
Transgender) loved ones and learn how we can work to advocate for their equal
civil rights. We enjoy the camaraderie
of other families with gay members and of our gay PFLAG members while we
socialize, laugh, smile, share family photos, enjoy refreshments, and become
educated by guest speakers. We have a free lending library from which
members are encouraged to borrow books and videos to help in the education
process. Borders, Barnes and Noble as
well as your public library are great sources for literature WE’VE BEEN BUSY in 2010: July28th. Todd and Mike spoke
to 8 graduate students taking a course on collaboration and
consultation in special education at the Riverhead campus of CW Post. The professor, Dr. Kathleen Feeley, a strong advocate
for the GLBT community, became one when a student wrote in a journal that
homosexuality isn't discussed and how homosexuality in students could be a
problem that many teachers face. Mike read PFLAG’s mission statement and, from a parent’s
perspective, described how having a GLBT child coming out affects the
parents. Todd spoke from the standpoint of a gay educator about coming
out and stated some statistics (1:3 teen age suicides is gay related).
A wide variety of GLBT topics, some serious and some humorous, were
discussed. The presentation was well
received. July 20th. Dan, Marsha, and Iris spoke to a
group of @50 retired professionals in Great Neck. We discussed PFLAG, the issues we and our
children face, and the laws needed to be enacted to ensure equal protection
for our children and grandchildren.
They were very receptive and had great questions. We demonstrated how there are more
similarities than differences in the lives and issues faced by our gay
children and that the differences would mostly be eradicated by the passage
of equal protection legislation. To
show their appreciation, they presented us with a generous donation to our
PFLAG chapter. June 27th June 23rd Iris spoke to a class of 25 current and future
librarians at CW Post Palmer School about PFLAG and our Book Donation project
(we donated a collection of 12 LGBT themed books to 25 GSAs on June 16th JoAn attended the second annual Northport VAMC EEO LGBT Pride Month
Program. June 13th We marched in the Long Island Pride Parade and had an table in the park after the
parade to distribute information about PFLAG and answer questions about our
group. We had a free raffle drawing
for a rainbow colored afghan JoAn crocheted and donated. The winner, Paul, was recently legally married in May 19th, Marsha, Dan and Iris spoke to a group of
parents at Pride for Youth. We were pleased to see that they refer
parents to PFLAG and to learn that they provide free on-site family
counseling. WE WERE BUSY in 2009: June 14th
we marched in the 19th annual Gay Pride Parade in Huntington. For a few pictures from the parade,
you are invited to view Long Island Pride On
June 17th, we presented
a table of material at the first ever EEO LGBT Employees Group in the Northport
Veterans Administration Hospital. We
were 13 strong in the NYC Heritage of Pride Parade
proudly marching behind our new banner. This
is an experience you just never forget and, it never gets old.
Long-time marchers get the same goose-bumps from the crowd’s reaction to us
as first timers. |
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Parents, Families, & Friends of
Lesbians And Gays - Long Island
P.O. Box 369, Deer Park, NY 11729-0369
• Confidential Help
Line (516) 938-8913